Friday, 10 August 2012

How to Emotionally Handle Your Separation and Divorce

As an adult child of divorce, I know that divorce is a difficult part of divorce, the children created all kinds of negative emotions. I saw what my mother went through as a divorced woman and single parent, and I know that someone is "adult relationships, and the situation is changing as the child with the machinations of a stepson. What I saw my father and juggling family responsibilities with the divorce without his wife's understanding, which was often. In addition, separation and divorce guide with 35 years experience as a divorce attorney, I know that it's hard to feel it.This is true whether you are single, separated or surprised by notifying the initiator. They go through a separate and divorce, anger, resentment, rejection, abandonment, jealousy, betrayal, depression, envy, bitterness and sense of shared human experience. Feelings of regret and guilt are also common. This process, which is troublesome to say the least, that the tax your body and your soul. Sometimes a strong desire for revenge or retaliation for wrongs to be significant. However, only those that are not captured in the overall health of these emotions, but emotions and desires, is not only financially but emotionally as well as the cost of divorce, you can do. If you find yourself with a stay to allow the negative emotions, it poisons you, your children and you will be around.

So what can you do? How do you think you can do anything? YES. In fact, one that can be connected to the emotional experience. You can choose to stop your thoughts or let go. Your emotions are in line with your thoughts and you control your mind. All you have to do is change your mind and emotions change. I know. You said: "It is very easy to find." They just. It is not easy, but you can do it. It carries out tasks related to the quality of the decision. I hope that this release has some of the practical tools you need to change your thoughts and feelings affect you can use.

I'm not a psychologist or mental health professional. Replace consultation with a qualified mental health professional for this purpose. My practice, I regularly refer clients to what they experience as they go through the divorce process and talk to someone about. Some churches use one of the best known program, "Divorce Care." This program is designed for people who are going through separation and divorce, to provide group therapy.

Perception is reality

You can not change its position, but you can change how you see it. For example, you can better the situation. All bad things are rarely, if ever. For example, a husband, you can be happy with your wife that you no longer see the need to hang up the socks in the bathroom showers dry or wife, you are glad that you all night without sleep can hear your husband is snoring. If you are not happy about it, if you find something you're grateful. There are always blessings in your life and you are always happy to be happy. The type of person who always saw the glass half empty, my mother was very negative personu.bija. Life of my family and I believe that they are still alive today if she, instead of focusing and appreciate what they do not focus entirely on his path was found. As you move through the process of separation and divorce, well, try to find something you understand the situation.

How to deal with stress

Change is inevitable, but change is stressful. Separation and divorce and monumental change. Do you have insurance, said: "life, you're fast!" Can you divorce your wife that you are blind agent in the Party, you are experiencing stress because you go through the process. Each man faced with stressful situations. What is different is how people experience stress that they are responsible. It has been scientifically proven that you can learn how to achieve and maintain peace in troubled times, although the interior. Stanford University School of Medicine has highlighted the scientific study of the impact of the solution. Based on his ground-breaking work, it is possible, skills and techniques and apply them to the stress from your life.

Abdominal BREATHING.This Eastern yoga techniques such as meditation practices to be used. Breathing from the stomach is a simple way of stress management. Let go of your tension in your body, and practice and improve your overall health and happiness the soul signs. As you inhale, your stomach is a balloon filled with air, as you imagine. Hand in hand on your stomach when you breathe with your breath and see them increase. Your stomach relaxed exhale, and keeping your hands, slowly as you breathe and see. Several slow deep breaths to focus on your stomach rises and falls. This is a good idea to take advantage of going to bed when you're nervous anger, or feel uneasy technique. Make this part of your daily routine when you are angry or frustrated, not only in the reserve. Do you want your car when you can see the TV or sitting on your computer. How you use this method, you will realize your breathing. When your breathing becomes shallow, and use the technology instruction.

Approach and vision. How do you prove yourself, and you have a choice. If you choose to prove himself as a victim or you can prove yourself as a survivor winners. Continue to suffer until you have selected, you will focus on unhappy memories. If, instead, thank you and the people, places and things in your life, you choose to focus on the joy to the admiration of stress and anxiety and reduce your feelings of peace and tranquility will feel. Make sure you have your day of thanks and some of the things that will be included in the plan is gratitude. 15-30 second day of rest from time to time thanks to your love to someone you care about your sympathy for someone to think about or appreciate the beauty of the scene or location.

If you find a stressful situation, take some slow breaths and the third instrument of abdominal breathing, the feel of one of the following: whatever you like, beautiful, with grace, a place that works for you.

When you think about someone, you still have a good relationship with someone, be sure to use. When you think about the place, either one that is particularly beautiful, or one that is evocative of good use. Abdominal breathing improves feelings of gratitude and praise and thanksgiving.

This is a particular value, appreciation and gratitude to make good use if you are feeling unappreciated. If you are not considered due to recognition of your emotions from your mind at the ball. It is also useful when you feel overwhelmed by their responsibilities, or difficulties in their way.

Just focus your mind and emotions feel really RELAXATION.You, but your body as well. This technique will help you appreciate the difference between tension and relaxation, it is to teach you to train your body a complete rest and release stress and tension. Tensing the muscles and release process that debt helps you to relax more deeply. Convenient location, either sitting or lying in addressing. Abdominal breaths to slow down the link. With the third breath, close your right shoulder and arm and hand completely the situation for a few seconds that you have in your breaths. Slowly release your breath and relax after you complete your shoulders, arms and hands rest for rent. Repeat this process with the other parts of the body. If you like, "I am calm and at peace" or "I have all I need." I want to use the free transfer of debt

Increase self-esteem. This method may be particularly important to pursue and, if you come from abusive relationship you can. You are not good, especially the self-image. You have better things to help you get acquainted with this method, your unique abilities and skills you will understand and remember that you are praiseworthy. At the end of each day by their actions bring into force the next day. Well you do, your ability to measure performance. This reflects the kindnesses and support to help you with your day be given to other people. The average household could be that there are things that anyone can do a ton, but if any of those who did not work at home. And evaluate the things that happen to you. When you do things you criticize someone, it is particularly good, or good things, you have the right to review the day. A healthy dose of self-praise, if there is another one that is right now. Healthy indulgence of his arrogance or not, his opinions are clear and precise.

Smile. Hasatam and stress-reduction activities Laughing. This is why there are theatrical performances and movies Comic Relief. Mother of a clown on the Shakespearean tragedy, the audience for Comic Relief characters. You do not grin or laugh, and you can not feel the mood of the training, you just feel better, then smiled. Up to grin or laugh as you go through your day, try to find a justification. If you care about people, because it will greet them with a smile. As a trial lawyer, I know that people find my personality to intimidate. This is the reason why I smile, I first meet them and try to remember. What if I can because I care, but people need to know that I care. Hasatam way to display. I also have my own training materials, publications and advertisements used in the comic a lot. I stress the fact that people are going through separation and divorce, and smile, grin and a laugh is needed. Smile if you're trying to people, nine times out of ten they will come back to you Smile. If you are calling before you smile, smile though your line to the other end, one can not, you can hear your voice.

Boundaries. This is an area that I have dealt with repeat customers. How do you separate them, you're out, parental responsibilities, assets, liabilities, and the house will need to address the separation of logistics. In doing so, you will find that the old boundaries that you worked while you were married, and no longer works for you. You and your wife need and each subscription level of privacy. If your husband, the former family residence, and you may have a legal right to reenter the premises, it is a good idea for you to unexpected and at home before the agreement or a specific invitation to do without them, even if the clear aim of the visit is "child's visit." Converse is also true: If you are a former family home, your husband is the pre-treatment would be without them. When you are different, some limits are set. Setting limits is part of the "number" of anger and learning about what you want, and quietly, without - Learning to be assertive in danger without learning, no matter. If it is particularly difficult for you, you have a mental health professional can help you learn how to do so, may wish to consult. If your husband insists that it be an issue, you can say "I need time to think about it less when I can get you back? (Or tomorrow, or after I talk to my lawyer?)". When you ask the answer is no quiet and moody to try to be assertive. (For example: "I asked you not be able to help you out to go, together we could be a solution that works for both of us can get together.")

It is what is accepted. You may have heard of the peace prayer: "Lord, grant me the serenity to change the things I can, I can make things change, the courage and wisdom to know the difference." Prayer for peace is like, you can change some things. You just have to be things that were found. If your husband is not with you, you probably can not do anything. You can not make him / her that you can return. You can change the past, no, it is. You can not change the facts, they are the same. You must agree to them. In fact, you can do something about the problem. You can solve the problem. The narratives of the past. You can change the past, no. Existing and / or problems in the future belongs. The problem is somewhat under control. These problems are the result depends on whether you are now.

Therefore, your partner or your 'ex' past mistakes. If you keep looking back at what has happened or what is thought and move on to the past, accept the selection. If your "former" past mistakes, maybe you or hurt your ego, your pride or wounded, the first thing your apology 'ex'. You have to free trapped victims from where you think you are free to move. See the section on "forgiveness."

We all make mistakes: sometimes, you agree that you are a mistake. If you have the wrong person, marriage to a negative control for manipulating, intimidating, which makes your life a living hell. How many people because, for example, if they know that marriage is a wrong decision, but last consultations. Family and friends, and sometimes the highest military officials, ministers and warned them against marriage, and they did not care. You agree that you will marry this man was a mistake, and it should get your house (and your kids) can play. , Only to take responsibility and say 'I was wrong, a mistake, I changed my mind ... "

Disappointed: "Only if ..." So, you do things that your wife or your "ex" Is your child a loss, you are wrong pagātnē.Ja you regret things that contribute to separation and divorce, you need to stop indulging in grief. Sorry to indulging in guilt, unworthiness and low self-esteem makes feelings. Instead of suffering, a regular practice. After all, what it is. I agree, you can change your past, do not. Instead, ask forgiveness and try to make them, and move on with your life. If the injured party, you will be forgiven, forgive yourself and still be able to replace it. From what you can, accept the past and let it go. You can use positive affirmations, you can avoid disappointment. What is empathy and compassion, and perhaps not for the other focuses on the treatment.

An ancient ritual, how you can help move the air away from your negative emotions and find peace.

These studies are difficult to explain, or to pronounce Hawaiian words, but his life and ritual idea of ​​taking responsibility for everything that you experience to.Izvēlieties your mind you are in prison there, or you can pick it up. Think about it for a minute. I can honestly say that you have never done anything wrong or negligent? You harmful to mindless words ever spoken? You are completely free of guilt? Commission does not have you sinned? If you have not sinned mistake? You think he is wrong? You have done a wrong action? Who says that "your trespasses" What are the consequences? I remember the work. According to the Bible, Job was a righteous man. When the story opens, we learn something important about it: it is a sin he has committed sins, they may inadvertently sacrifice to let you know. People and events in your life and take charge of their lives, including accidental and unintended victims of the sins of their own work. I believe in and try it out.

God spoke a word to use for the magic formula. You just said that, starting with "Lord, I apologize for what I had thought, said or done, or think, saying it failed." Can

It has accepted responsibility, apologized to the next step, saying, "Please forgive me."

It asked for forgiveness, mercy and grace, which is correct, and to express gratitude to God for forgiveness, "Thank you, Lord."

Finally, it is not always appropriate, but only to God and to love others the creation of God to make. Hawaiian religious elements. If you do, you are at the mercy of God Almighty and with gratitude for all the blessings in your prayer and you can open it and other people to love, before you ask him for forgiveness and take responsibility. Penalty in any sequence.

Prayer every day, not if you're using, it will help you develop a good habit. Try it for a week and see what you feel your life changes. Taking responsibility for your life to the cause of anger and frustration and generally removes negative emotions associated with separation and divorce is dissipated.


Mahatma Gandhi said, "If we practice an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the world will be blind and toothless." Achieve inner peace, forgiveness, and eliminating the negative emotions associated with separation and divorce, is an important factor. This does not mean forgiving the wrong, you will continue to suffer. There is no forgiving and another person to take poison of death compared to the experience. Loop means that you refuse to forgive the past, painful events. Remember that you can not change the past, but you can change your perspective. Refuse to forgive the choice of victims. Choosing to forgive is to reject the victim of depression, anger, bitterness and negative emotions, such as freedom of choice.

ESA holiday feeling of choice. The first step is to identify adverse experiences or situations. Then you have the grace to make a choice. If you want to be free: you can choose to forgive or not forgive you. I've heard people say that they will be sorry if they do it "looks." Frankly, the difficulty that people have compassion "feelings" will not. You see, when you choose to forgive your feelings (finally) is in line with you. If you do not want to forgive, your emotions will follow your wishes. I've heard other people say, "I know about forgiveness, but may not ask if they ask me to apologize or to forgive?" And you know what? Yeah, these people would be sorry and apologized. Bear the consequences of their choice and they do not. But forgive them, for they have nothing to do with internal choice. Here's what I'm talking about increasing your own personal peace, health and wellness internal matter. You need to ask you. If you refuse to forgive extensive costs. Forgiveness is the first step in healing.

Heart choose to publish. Choose to release anger. Choose to publish the bitterness. If it is too difficult or too difficult for you, ask God to help you. God, it's hard to remember anything. God says to forgive you and publish your own weakness, and I accept what you have to ask yourself what you believe you can choose to pray.

Tolerance and acceptance are related. Which of us is complete? Who has not made mistakes? Do not be a good short-comings in the world, if we tolerate each other and accept each other as we are warts and all learned? If we set ourselves to judge others, we find that others are at least as harshly as we judge others, we will be again. God will be judged harshly us as well? Scripture says, "do not judge and you decide the size you mete out to others who meted out to you." It's much better to accept and tolerate other people. Again, the choice of topic. You, your husband or "ex" No restrictions may be adopted and to tolerate them, or you are dissatisfied with your life and dissatisfied with the short comings can lead. These limits are what they are. Do not expect them to change, but if they do, you may be pleasantly surprised. In the meantime, try to be tolerant.